Self Care That Lasts: Beyond Bubble Baths and Quick Fixes
- Kristen Monroe
- 5 days ago
- 7 min read
Here's what I've learned: whether you're managing ADHD like me or just trying to survive an endless calendar, when routines slip, life unravels fast. My skin breaks out, my cortisol spikes, I gain weight. And for most women I know, it's the exact same cycle. You don't need ADHD for stress to wreak havoc; being busy, burned out, and stretched thin is more than enough.
We've all heard we should "practice self care." But what does that actually mean? Is it working through a self-care list filled with bubble baths and face masks? Or is it something deeper: self-care habits that regulate your body and mind day after day?
Here's my take: the difference between self care that feels like a quick burst of relief and self care that truly changes your life is consistency. Real self care isn't a single act. It's how to take care of yourself through a routine. It's a collection of practices that keep you steady even when the world feels completely chaotic.
The Bubble Bath Reality (And Why It Still Matters)
Let me be clear: I'm not canceling bubble baths. They matter. They absolutely belong on every self-care list because they're one of the fastest ways to decompress and reset your nervous system.
A hot bath, candlelight, soft music. Those moments of immediate relief are powerful. They're not fake, and they're not frivolous. Research shows that relaxation activities can lower cortisol levels in the moment and trigger your body's "rest and digest" response.
But here's what I've discovered: if self care only lives in those occasional bubble baths, spa days, or guilty-pleasure glasses of wine, it won't sustain you. That's where so many women feel let down. The moment fades, stress returns, and we're right back where we started.
So yes, the bubble bath counts. It's the spark. But it's not the fire.
Self-Care Practices That Actually Last
Real transformation comes from rituals I repeat often enough that they become second nature. I think of them as self-care practices instead of self-care treats. These are the habits that don't just give temporary relief; they train your body and mind to handle life better every single day.
Some examples from my own life:
Nightly wind-down routine: By a certain time every night, my skincare is done (I swear by a simple but effective routine with quality products that actually work, linked my preferred set, super affordable and effective!), the kitchen is closed, devices are shut off, and I'm in bed. Even if I'm not asleep, my body knows it's time to rest. A good sound machine has been game-changing for this - it signals to my brain that it's sleep time while blocking out distractions.
Walking pad breaks during work: I sit a lot for my job, which causes tension and neck pain. Walking throughout the day keeps my energy up and lowers stress hormones. Having a walking pad under my desk has been one of the best investments I've made - I can get movement without leaving my workspace or dealing with weather on bad days, surefire way to make sure it stays in my routine.
Monthly massage: This isn't luxury for me; it's maintenance. Physical touch has been shown to lower blood pressure,
reduce cortisol, and calm anxiety.
Boundaries with myself: I won't eat after 8 PM. I won't check social media after 10 PM. Small rules that support how I want to feel.
Studies back this up: predictable routines lower cortisol, reduce stress, and give the brain a sense of control. One study even showed that just 20 to 30 minutes in nature can drop cortisol levels by nearly 20%. That's not fluff; that's biology.
Self Care Routine for Busy Women (and ADHD Brains)
For ADHD brains like mine, routines aren't optional; they're survival. Without them, things spiral quickly. But the truth is, you don't need a diagnosis for this to matter. Busy moms, corporate women, caregivers; everyone benefits from ritual.
Studies back this up: predictable routines lower cortisol, reduce stress, and give the brain a sense of control. One study even showed that just 20 to 30 minutes in nature can drop cortisol levels by nearly 20%. That's not fluff; that's biology.
Research confirms that structured self-care practices help adults with ADHD regulate daily life. Habit stacking (linking a new ritual to an existing one) works wonders for overwhelmed brains. For example: brush your teeth, then apply moisturizer. Shut your laptop, then take a 10-minute walk.
For non-ADHD women, the principle is the same. A self care routine removes decision fatigue. You don't have to think about whether you'll do it; it's already built in. That's what makes it sustainable.
When you practice self care through a routine, you aren't chasing motivation. You're building a system.
Self-Care Habits That Don't Look Glamorous
Here's where most self care lists fall flat: they only show the glamorous side. But my self-care habits often look boring, messy, or deeply personal:
Saying "no phone after 10 PM" because my nervous system deserves rest
Shaving my legs even when I feel too busy, because it makes me feel better
Listening to a self-help podcast in the car instead of doomscrolling in the parking lot
Drinking water before coffee
Closing the kitchen after 8 PM
Working out/Stretching regularly
Seeing my therapist because investing in mental health is self care too
These habits may not trend on TikTok, but they change how I feel about myself. They're small acts of showing up; investments into my future self.
Why Rituals Work Better Than Quick Fixes
So why do routines matter more than random acts? Here's what I've learned:
Predictability calms the nervous system. Routines lower cortisol and help your body anticipate rest.
Repetition builds identity. You become the person who takes care of herself, not just someone who occasionally does.
Consistency compounds. Missing a day won't wreck you, but repeating a ritual for weeks and months rewires your stress response.
Research shows that consistent self-care practices (whether meditation, walking, nature exposure, or social connection) have far stronger long-term benefits than one-off acts. It's the ritual, not the glamor, that heals you.
How to Take Care of Yourself Through Ritual
The question isn't if you need self-care habits; it's how to take care of yourself consistently. Here's what I recommend:
Start small. Add one self care habit at a time (a consistent skincare routine with products that support your skin barrier, walking breaks, water before coffee).
Stack habits. Link them to what you already do. After brushing teeth, apply moisturizer. After logging off, stretch.
Choose consistency over perfection. Self care is about progress, not punishment. If you miss a day, reset the next.
Mix boring with indulgent. Do the grounding habits (hydration, sleep, boundaries) and sprinkle in the luxuries (bubble baths, spa days). Both belong.
Self care isn't about looking perfect. It's about building a rhythm that keeps you feeling steady.
Final Thoughts
Self care isn't a hashtag. It isn't a quick bath bomb, a candle, or a manicure. Those things matter; they're the sparks that help you decompress. But lasting transformation comes from the fire you build: your self care routine, your self-care practices, your self-care habits that keep you strong day after day.
Because at the end of the day, self care isn't just about feeling good in the moment. It's about showing up for yourself tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.
What's one self care habit you can start tonight to invest in your future self?
Frequently Asked Questions About Self Care
What does self care mean?
Self care means intentionally taking actions to preserve and improve your physical, mental, and emotional health. It's not just occasional treats or indulgences; it's the daily practices and boundaries you create to support your well-being. Real self care includes both maintenance activities (like proper sleep and nutrition) and restorative activities (like relaxation and hobbies).
How is self care important?
Self care is important because it prevents burnout, reduces stress-related health problems, Improves confidence, how you feel, and helps you show up better for others in your life. When you neglect self care, your body and mind suffer: cortisol levels rise, sleep quality drops, and you're more prone to anxiety and depression. Consistent self care practices literally rewire your stress response and improve your resilience.
How does self care affect mental health?
Self care directly impacts mental health by regulating stress hormones, improving sleep quality, and creating a sense of control in your life. Regular self care practices like exercise, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques have been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. When you prioritize self care, you're essentially training your nervous system to handle life's challenges more effectively.
How does self care reduce stress?
Self care reduces stress through multiple mechanisms: physical activities like walking lower cortisol levels, consistent routines provide predictability that calms the nervous system, and relaxation practices activate your parasympathetic nervous system. Research shows that even 20-30 minutes of nature exposure can drop cortisol levels by nearly 20%. The key is consistency rather than intensity.
What does self care look like in daily life?
Real self care often looks quite ordinary: drinking water before coffee, maintaining boundaries with technology, keeping a consistent bedtime, moving your body regularly, and saying no to commitments that drain you. It might be as simple as applying moisturizer every night, taking walking breaks during work, or closing the kitchen at a specific time. Self care is less about grand gestures and more about small, repeated acts of self-respect.
Why is self care important for mental health?
Self care is crucial for mental health because it gives you tools to manage stress before it becomes overwhelming. When you have consistent self care practices, you're essentially building resilience. Your nervous system learns to regulate itself more effectively, you sleep better, and you develop a stronger sense of self-worth. Without self care, mental health issues like anxiety and depression can worsen because you have no buffer against life's inevitable stresses.
Why self care matters more than you think
Self care matters because it affects every area of your life. When you're well-rested, properly nourished, and emotionally regulated, you make better decisions, have more patience with others, and feel more confident in your abilities. It's not selfish; it's strategic. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up fully for your relationships, work, and goals. The ripple effect of good self care extends far beyond just feeling good in the moment.
Who needs self care?
Everyone needs self care, but it's especially crucial for people who are caregivers, have demanding jobs, manage chronic conditions like ADHD, or are going through major life transitions. If you're constantly giving to others, dealing with high stress, or feeling like you're barely keeping up, structured self care isn't optional. It's the foundation that makes everything else possible.
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