Therapy for Generational Trauma: Breaking Cycles and Finding Healing
- Kristen Monroe
- Sep 3
- 8 min read
Updated: Sep 3
Table of Contents
Why "I Turned Out Fine" Isn't Fine
“I turned out fine.”
It’s the phrase generations before us love to use, but when you look closer at the excessive drinking, the anger, the burnout, how they respond to stress, the silence... is “fine” really fine?
Maybe you've heard it too: "My parents hit me and I turned out fine." Or "We didn't talk about feelings and I'm fine."
But fine isn't the same as healthy. Fine isn't healed. Fine is survival, not thriving.
Generational trauma happens when the pain doesn't stop with the person who lived it. It gets passed forward, shaping how children (and even grandchildren) think, react, and cope with the world.
The hopeful part? Trauma can also be interrupted. Cycles can be broken. Therapy for generational trauma gives us the tools to step out of survival mode, begin to heal, and create a different legacy for ourselves and our children.
As the eldest daughter, I've felt like the cycle breaker child. I thought it all fell on me to stop repeating patterns. But the truth is, this work doesn't belong to one person in a family. It's about many of us choosing to say, "The pain stops here."
And if you're part of the generation before us, if you're the parent or grandparent who unknowingly passed trauma forward, this isn't about blame. You did the best you could with what you knew. But healing is always possible, even decades later. It's never too late.
You are not broken. You are whole as you are. But growth is constant. We get stuck when we can't see the next step, and this post is here to offer direction.
A quick note: This post is just the beginning. Generational trauma is complex enough to fill an entire book, and this single blog post can't cover every healing modality, aspect of epigenetics, or trauma pattern. Think of this as your starting point. I'll be diving deeper into specific therapies, the science behind epigenetics, my personal experience and advanced healing strategies in future posts. If you're interested in self-growth, healing, and want more in-depth content like this, consider subscribing to stay updated as I explore this topic further.
What Is Generational Trauma?
Generational trauma (or intergenerational trauma) happens when stress, abuse, neglect, or overwhelming experiences in one generation ripple into the next.
It affects how the brain develops, how the body reacts to stress, how we attach in relationships, and even our physical health.
This isn't just theory. Research first noticed it in children of Holocaust survivors, kids who never lived through war themselves but carried higher rates of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Since then, studies have confirmed similar effects in Indigenous communities impacted by colonization, refugee families fleeing conflict, and households where cycles of abuse and addiction repeat.
Trauma Leaves Traces in the Body and Brain
Generational trauma isn't only learned through behavior. It can leave physical traces through a process called epigenetics, how life experiences "mark" genes and change how they're expressed without rewriting DNA itself.
Think of it like sticky notes on your DNA. The blueprint is the same, but the notes can tell your body: "Use this more" or "Shut this down." Trauma, stress, and even nutrition can add those notes and pass them on.
Examples from research:
Holocaust survivors – Stress-related genes (FKBP5) showed altered patterns in survivors and their children, even decades later.
Mothers pregnant during 9/11 – Those with PTSD had unusually low cortisol (a stress hormone). Their infants were born with the same pattern. Low cortisol doesn't mean low stress; it means the stress system is so overworked it burns out.
Dutch Hunger Winter (1944-45 famine) – Babies conceived during famine carried lifelong differences in growth-related genes (IGF2). Decades later, their children faced higher risks of chronic illness.
Syrian refugee families (2025) – Epigenetic "fingerprints" of war-related stress appeared not only in survivors but in their children and grandchildren.
The takeaway: Trauma doesn't disappear when the moment ends. It echoes in bodies, families, and behaviors long after. But here's the hope: just as stress leaves marks, healing can leave marks too. Safe relationships, therapy, and supportive environments can help recalibrate the system.
Signs of Generational Trauma in Everyday Life
Generational trauma often hides in patterns that feel "normal" until you connect the dots.
Emotional patterns – Anxiety, shame, emotional shutdowns. For me, I thought I was just "moody" until I realized my body was cycling through survival responses.
Relationship struggles – I kept choosing the wrong partners, thinking connection was everything. But what I later learned was that "connection" I felt so strongly was actually familiar trauma responses, not real intimacy.
Parenting cycles – Maybe you swore you'd never yell like your parents, but find yourself shouting anyway. Or maybe you shut down when your child cries. Even love can't override unhealed scripts.
Physical health issues – Trauma shows up as knots in your stomach, autoimmune flares, or chronic fatigue. For me, stress always hit my stomach first.
Identity and self-worth – Perfectionism and burnout were my trophies. I thought being "driven" was strength, but therapy showed me it was me chasing worthiness I already had.
Silence and secrecy – Families often say: "We don't talk about that." For me, I thought I had strong communication skills. Saying "I'm done talking about this" or people-pleasing until I snapped felt "healthy." In reality, it was avoidance and self-abandonment.
One of the hardest parts of healing? Realizing, oh, I had a part in the trauma I kept experiencing. That can feel
shameful, but it shouldn't. Your body was trained by trauma. You didn't know it was trauma; you thought it was life.
Staying in the victim mindset keeps you stuck. But so does staying in the self-blame mindset. Bestie, we're not doing that. Healing means moving through these realizations, not getting trapped in them. That's how you break the cycle.
Therapy for Generational Trauma: What Works
There's no one-size-fits-all therapy, but research highlights several approaches:
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) – Helps reframe distorted beliefs ("I'll fail my kids" → "I can parent differently"). This is where I started, and while uncomfortable at first, it gave me a framework to understand what was actually mine versus inherited.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – Helps the brain refile traumatic memories so they stop hijacking the nervous system.
Family Systems Therapy – Explores roles (caretaker, scapegoat, fixer) and helps you step out of them.
Somatic Therapy – Because trauma lives in the body, somatic practices (breathwork, yoga, body awareness) help release it. These days, I practice somatic work independently; it's grounding after years of living in my head.
Inner Child & Reparenting – At first, this felt ridiculous to me. But learning to nurture myself with compassion became one of the most powerful tools I've used.
Group Therapy & Support Groups – Breaks the isolation and secrecy trauma creates. Hearing "me too" from others can shift shame into belonging.
A Note of Compassion
I don't believe my parents were bad parents. They were very young and carried their own trauma. They didn't know any better.
I didn't start realizing my own patterns until my late 30s. I just knew something was off, I didn't know what, how, or why. That's why therapy matters. It gives you language and tools to stop blaming others, stop blaming yourself, and start healing.
Think of it like a medical condition that affects how your body reacts. Would you resent it forever? Or would you say: "This is how my body responds, now I need treatment"? Trauma is no different. Just because it's invisible doesn't make it less real.
You are not ruined. You are not beyond repair. Trauma explains your patterns, but it does not define your future.
Taking the Next Step in Healing
When I started therapy, I didn't notice changes week to week. Honestly, some sessions felt pointless. But a year later, I looked back and realized, I am not the same person I was. That's how therapy works, slow, steady, until one day you notice the ground beneath you is steadier. You don't respond to stress the same as you use to, You can recognize and reverse patterns when you see them.
I write this blog because when I was desperately searching the internet for answers, I couldn't find them. I found plenty of people who felt like me, stuck, angry, hurt, but not many who were farther along in the journey. What I needed was: What does healing look like? How do I get there?
That's why I share my story now: to offer the soft landing I didn't have.
If you're considering therapy, here are some starting points (not sponsored, just informational):
If money is tight, explore sliding scales, insurance, or community centers. Even one safe, consistent relationship can begin to shift the cycle.
FAQ: Therapy for Generational Trauma
Q: How do you heal from trauma caused by family?
A: Healing starts with acknowledging what happened, grieving what you didn't get, and building safe support. Therapy helps you set boundaries and stop waiting for family to validate your pain.
Q: How do you deal with generational trauma?
A: Awareness is the first step. From there, therapy and conscious practice help you stop repeating patterns. Breaking cycles doesn't require your family's participation; it starts with you.
Q: Is generational trauma a real thing?
A: Yes. Studies in epigenetics show trauma can alter gene expression, stress responses, and health outcomes across generations.
Q: How do you release trauma from the body?
A: Practices like somatic therapy, yoga, breathwork, TRE®, and EMDR help the body discharge stored stress and learn safety again.
Q: Do your genes carry your family's past trauma?
A: They can. Trauma doesn't rewrite DNA, but it can add "sticky notes" that change how genes are expressed, and those changes can be inherited.
Q: What are the triggers for generational trauma?
A: Conflict, rejection, financial stress, or parenting challenges often resurface old wounds, both personal and inherited.
Q: What is the best therapy for generational trauma?
A: Trauma-focused CBT, EMDR, somatic therapies, and family systems work all show strong results. Many people use a combination.
Q: What is the hardest trauma to recover from?
A: Long-term trauma (like childhood neglect or generational trauma) is often hardest because it shapes identity. But recovery is absolutely possible with patience and consistent support.
Final Words
If you've read this far, you've already started breaking the silence. That alone is a step forward.
You are not broken. You are not doomed to repeat the past. Therapy for generational trauma isn't about erasing your history; it's about choosing how it lives in you today, and what legacy you pass forward tomorrow. Ready to Go Deeper?
If this post resonated with you, know that this is just the beginning. I’ll be sharing more content on self-growth, healing, and practical ways to show up for yourself the way you’ve always wanted to.
Subscribe below to join me on this journey. Together, we’ll dig deeper into breaking cycles, healing old wounds, and creating space to thrive, not just survive.
Sources (Academic and Medical)
Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. World Psychiatry, 17(3), 243–257. PMCID: PMC6127768pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.
Mulligan, C. J., Quinn, E. B., Hamadmad, D., et al. (2025). Epigenetic signatures of intergenerational exposure to violence in three generations of Syrian refugees. Scientific Reports, 15, Article 5945. DOI: 10.1038/s41598-025-89818-znature.com.
Chou, P.-C., Huang, Y.-C., Yu, S., et al. (2024). Mechanisms of Epigenetic Inheritance in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). [Review Article] MDPI Open Access (PMCID: PMC10817356)pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.
Racine, N., et al. (2023). Intergenerational transmission of parent adverse childhood experiences to child outcomes: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Child Abuse & Neglect, 137, 106479pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.
Back Nielsen, M. et al. (2019). Risk of childhood psychiatric disorders in children of refugee parents with PTSD: a nationwide, register-based, cohort study. Lancet Public Health, 4(7), e353–e359researchgate.netresearchgate.net.
Yehuda, R. (2022). How Parents’ Trauma Leaves Biological Traces in Children. Scientific American (July 2022)scientificamerican.comscientificamerican.com.
Conching, A. K. S., & Thayer, Z. (2019). Biological pathways for historical trauma to affect health: A conceptual model focusing on epigenetic modifications. Social Science & Medicine, 230, 74–82. DOI: 10.1016/j.socscimed.2019.04.001pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2024). About Adverse Childhood Experiences. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (October 8, 2024)cdc.govcdc.gov.
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